Review: Sapphire McIntosh: Squeaky Bum Time

Ex-footballer Sapphire McIntosh delivers a confident stand-up debut that nevertheless isn’t quite a clean strike


★★★

Sapphire McIntosh | Photo by Michael Julings

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Sapphire McIntosh had a long journey to get here, but it seems like we’re catching her on the brink of a big change in her life. Since graduating from Manchester Metropolitan in 2008, the Leeds-born ex-footballer has been just about making ends meet in that there London. She’s done odd jobs promoting the Netflix drama Black Mirror, been the voice of Just Eat adverts, and mostly spent her time in the Goldsmiths library trying to edit content to go viral. 

She’s had a few hits, namely a collection of sketches called British Cooking Shows After Reform Get In, but nothing as big as her most recent success: a part on the new season of Apple TV’s cosy-comedy Ted Lasso. Released just a couple of days before her Fringe debut, the burgeoning star’s early adopters are out to see her in the flesh.

They’re met with a confident and polished comedy presence who takes a reassuringly textbook approach to stage presence. Clear and confident, her movements are deliberate, breathing well controlled; the training and discipline of an athlete. However, it’s a shame that the material itself is short of a few sharp punchlines to really make it sing.

Sapphire keeps it professional, committing to her routines with the energy and conviction they demand, but an early routine about the paper-thin walls of London flats and their impacts on sexual intimacy is dying for a climax, ironically. It’s a memorable performance from McIntosh, but not a clear shot on goal just yet.


Sapphire McIntosh: Squeaky Bum Time, Underbelly Bristo Square, until 30 Aug (not 18), 5.45pm